They Will Never Understand!

They asked me to describe myself and I for my part remained silent. They asked what my goals were based upon and again, no response for my end. They insisted I speak to them, but as I looked in their direction, I found little benefit in communicating my struggles. They asked, “do you fear us?” and at that, although I wanted to remain silent, I couldn’t! “If I can see it, chances are I probably don’t fear it!”, I informed them. Surprised and eager to get more out of me, they continued to fire similar questions in my direction and as their questions grew in complexion, I summed up all their inquires with one statement.

“If you must know”, I began, ”and surely I find your questions to be many, I’ll do you one favor but dont ask me for another after this day!” Hanging to my everyword, these Chrisitian preachers watched the words flow out of my mouth and into their ears. ”I am, through poetic verses the following but I worry even if I recite verses to you, you may not understand the meaning behind my words!” I stated. 

“I am…

Trapped in an inescapable dimension,

between thoughts that overpower the soul in succession!

During a period of global recession,

I yield to the Lord of the worlds seeking intercession!

Will I succeed or will I fail,

Only God knows…”

Crossing Paths with a Jewish Man

Dear Poetic Justice,

     In many pages, I’ve discussed with you the lessons pertaining to Bani Israel and often times, after reading their actions in the Quran, I would often ponder to myself, can they have done anything worse? But a few verses or surahs later, Allah would educate the reader through another action of theirs and again, I would be overtaken by confusion as to why they chose to do what they had done? Until Allah completed their story by mentioning what Musa asked his people when he said, “why do you harm me?”. Musa, may Allah be pleased with him, was the greatest Prophet from Bani Israel and yet his people continuously hurt him through their words and actions. Can you imagine, being sent to a people in which you love for them peace and security but who remain consistent in their refusal to obey you, although they know you are the best from amongst them?  

     Just the other day, I came to the actual realization of what I’ve been reading in the books of history pertaining to arrogance. Allah, with His Wisdom, caused my path to cross paths with a Jewish learned man. Below I narrate to you the story of the Jewish man, I met a few days ago.

     As I entered the train, I sat across a Jewish man, who from the naked eye seemed to be very devote to his religion. He appeared, to want to be identified by society as a Jew living amongst a mixed breed. I recognized him for who we was, and as he occupied himself with his religious text, I focused my attention on the Quranic memorization application that I had installed into my phone. I glanced up, took a swift look around the train, and then returned my focus to the words of Allah. Shortly afterwards, I noticed the Jewish man who was previously dedicated to his updated version of the Torah, stand up, and for some odd reason, I expected him to exit the train but as I kept my view locked onto his every movement, rather then following through on what I had expected from him, he relocated himself to the seat next to myself. Upon sitting himself down, he starred into the screen on my phone and I, not being shy to conceal my focus of attention, tilted the screen to grant him a better view. He found, I was reading the words of my Lord, the beautiful Quran. Anticipating a conversation based around religious text, I removed the ear piece from my left ear in order to draw him closer to the debate but surprisingly, he didn’t take the bait. I remained patient until I could no longer let the opportunity to ask the Jew about his text escape me. “Excuse me”, I introduced myself. “Is that a religious text you are holding”, I asked. “Yes”, he replied with a shy tone. “And is that text the Torah, or a different version of the original Torah?”. Confused and caught off guard by my follow up question, he starred away, as his face revealed his new found worry. Unsure of how I, a young man with little to no apparent knowledge developed the courage to speak to him,  the Jewish man asked, ”how do you know that word?”. Which word was he talking about? But before the moment could escape me, I replied with confidence, “the Torah? I know about the Torah and the history of Musa and the children of Israel very well”.  ”How”, wrapped in confusion he asked. “Well, I know about their stories and about the Torah through the Quran.” “The Quran? I’ve never read it”, he stated with pride and arrogance. At that moment, I realized why Allah degraded the Children of Israel. He, this poor man, intimated by my questioning, had the nerve to boost himself with pride? Shameful, I thought to myself. The meeting of this Jewish learned man came with some benefit; for one, it gave that man the reassurance that the youth from the Muslims are courageous and confident enough to speak to the likes of a learned Jewish man. If this man did not know before our meeting, I’m sure after our encounter, he will know the young men from Islam are not shy to engage in a conversation regarding faith because we have the Quran and our confidence is not based around our heritage but rather, the words of Allah. Personally, I was not worried about his knowledge, and why so? Allah had explained their history through multiple verses and I dedicated much of my time in studying their mistakes. Secondly, it reminded me of the fatal reaction which is the  result of pride. It brought to light the awareness that arrogrance could destroy the greatest of  nations, if they so choose to cling to it, as was the case with the Children of Israel from past generations. I would narrate the rest of the story about the Jewish man but I find little benefit in the concluding parts of the story.

The Longing of the Heart

 ….I long for the summer sun, the fresh fall air and the smiles on the faces of the righteous folks. I long for a summer vacation that will never end, kind words that fall onto the ears of those who don’t return the favor with better words. I long for Ramadan, again, I long for Ramadan. I long for nights that are filled with eemaan, followed by days that bring ease and more eemaan - eemaan upon eemaan. I long for Allah, His Messenger and a life away from the sinners. I long for a life without time, a soul-mate who upon looking into my eyes can read my every thought, would be able to understand my deepest secret, and I fear she may hold me accountable for such thoughts. I long to find my wife in Jannah, a woman who would be foreign to me. I long for my love, the baby belonging to my sister, her name Baby Jannah. I long to see her grow to become a beautiful, righteous woman. I long deeper for her. O’ my Lord, raise Jannah to be righteous, and place her among the pious. I long for my relatives who’ve lived much of their lives in our Motherland. I long to find the eyes of my father and the heart of my mother. I long to enter Jannah, although I know I don’t deserve it.

Classified Verses

     During some nights, when the moon disappears behind the clouds and the silence of death overtakes society, I reach for my pen and bring about my inner realities. Some, from the many verses I conceal within myself, are more deserving to be noted and perhaps, many years down the line, my progeny may discover these very verses. And when I finally complete my Poetic Justice and if it so happens to be that my Lord decrees no children under my responsibility, then I will take the pages of my Poetic Justice and place them in a bottle before I release them into the cold sea. But until the decree of my Lord descends from above the skies, then the verses of my Poetic Justice must continue and the realities of life must be brought to light.

The following are a few lines of poetry from my Classified Verses.

If my Lord shall decree for me the eternal fire,
and history submits to its arrogant denial,
then let it be known Allah intended good for me,
when He sent down the Quran to set me free,
but my deeds converted,
in addition to a heart so diverted,
led to my entrance into the eternal fire

But If I should succeed,
and find my name written in the Book of Decrees,
under the page entitled ‘righteous’,
Perhaps some may fall jealous,
and become heedless,
towards working for a home in the seven skies,
a place where none shall exchange lies,
nor shall the bodies of its men ever die

An Interview with Sameh Habeeb

Interview with Sameh Habeeb, photojournalist and resident of Gaza

This is a transcript of an interview conducted by Alex Whisson from Friends of Palestine WA and his two colleagues at RTR FM on late on Tuesday night, 13th January 2009. I’ve tagged a whole bunch of you because i think it’s important that you get a chance to hear a direct voice from Gaza itself.

We’re speaking now with Sameh Habeeb, who is a photojournalist and humanitarian worker currently living in Gaza City. Sameh, may I start by asking what is the situation exactly where you are now?

Well, the situation where I am now is very bad, specifically in the east part of Gaza City. All over the Gaza Strip we have escalation of the Israeli bombing. Already we have 47 Palestinians killed since the early hours of this morning. The daylight of Gaza is not very different from the dark. Extensive Israeli air raids, extensive Israeli shells are being ridden down in many areas of the Gaza Strip. In {name of area inaudible] there was a very big escalation in which 11 persons were killed in that area due to Israeli bombing. Most of them are civilians and one of them is a 75-year-old man and at the moment you are speaking to me I could easily hear the sound of the Israeli shelling.

Now at the moment I will try to open my window so you can hear some of the bombing outside. It’s very dark since we don’t have electricity. It’s very hazardous at the moment.

Around 13 Palestinian fighters were killed today and the situation is very, very bad as I told you and we don’t know what will be happening soon. Also in [name of area inaudible] three or four bodies were found today of people killed before Sunday. One of the bodies was in a bad situation and he was a very old man, around 92-years-old.

In terms of humanitarian needs we don’t have enough water, we don’t have enough power, we don’t have gas, we don’t have basic supplies a person needs to go on with his life.

Sir, why do you think that Israel is terrorising the people of Gaza in such a brutal fashion?

Well, Israel is not targeting the militants as it has announced at the start of this military operation. Israel is clearly targeting the civilians and this is so clear. What we have seen on the ground, what we have seen in the hospitals, on the street and in the destroyed buildings is that mostly those who were killed are civilians.

We are speaking about around 1000 people killed and in a few hours it will be 1000. You know, around 400 of them are children and around 150 are women. So what kind of military operation is that? They [the government of Israel] are saying they want to bring safety for the Israeli citizens but they won’t do. It is good to bring safety for the Israeli people, it is good to bring security for the Israeli people. But by killing Palestinians? You know Alex around only 14 Israelis were killed by these rockets [fired by the resistance]. So what kind of rockets [are being fired out of Gaza]? They are not rockets. They are small, home-made by some militants. They are not rockets. But Israel is enlarging and exaggerating about that [the threat from these rockets]. They are saying, oh well, we are under Palestinian attack. [They are] making Palestinian people like Saddam or like Iran. In fact we are not. We are simply people. We do not have the basics of our life so how will we be able to defeat a country with an air force, with a ground force? It is a complete lie. We are under occupation and it’s a small kind of resistance being operated by the Palestinians.

May I ask you how you feel about the silence and complicity of the Egyptian regime, the Jordanian regime and all the other dictatorships throughout the Arab world?

Well we are totally not satisfied with the Arabic stance and position. The Arabs are being [distracted] by their differences. Everyone is away [distanced] from his Arab neighbour. And they [the Arab nations] are not working on ending this war. Egypt and Jordan are working but not enough. We need all our countries to go at this moment and not to wait more. I don’t know what they are working on at this moment! Israel is massacring and killing the civilians here and I have seen this by my eyes. I have seen many children dying in the hospitals due to lack of medicine and the Arab countries, I don’t know what they are working on at this moment. So they are part of this war. They are part of this war.

The American government as always is supporting Israel uncritically and the Australian government has fallen into line behind Washington. What can people do in Australia to pressure their government and to pressure the Israelis to stop this madness?

Well, the Australian people are very good friends and I was following what has happened in Australia. Many protests happened there and more than 5000 people [at one of them]. And even more participated [around the country] and this is very good. We need Jews who participated in these protests to go against the wishes of the politicians. To say no [to the actions of the Israeli govcrnment]. We need you to pressure Israel, to go to the Israeli embassy, to make demonstrations. In Australia I don’t want to see the same stance as John Howard. Because John Howard was following totally George Bush. I don’t know what kind of stance [your Prime Minister] is having at this moment but I need the people to show him in order to keep calm and peace here for the people who are being killed, for the children, to follow up the news and see what is happening. Children are being killed by phosphorous bombs, by depleted uranium and it’s a really cruel war agains the Palestinian civilians not the militants.

We can tell you unfortunately that the government which replaced John Howard is fully backing Israel and we are doing everything we can to put pressure on the government to shift its position. Mr Habeeb, you’re a photojournalist by profession. May I ask how difficult it’s been to take photos of the suffering of your own people at this horrible time?

Well, it’s very difficult to take photos at the moment. It’s very hazardous even to go outside in the night. If you go outside in the night you will be a target for the Israeli air force because it targets everything movable in the night. In the daylight you could do it [take photos] but it’s very difficult. And especially these days [when] we do not have power, we do not have internet. Even if you would be able to take some photos, you would not be able to upload them to send them out. So we are being blacked out by this war. We don’t have only a war of tanks and a war of missiles. We have a media war, we have a propaganda war. [Israel] is saying we are the terrorists, but in fact we are not. We are the victims and Israel is the victimiser.

On the subject of war crimes I understand that reports have emerged the Israelis are illegally using white phosphorous as an incendiary device against civilians, against personnel. Have you seen any evidence of this war crime?

Human Rights Watch is saying this, all international organisations are saying Israel that is perpetuating war crimes against civilians! And this is so bad. If this would happen in Darfur, we would see the United Nations [saying] we have to do something against the Sudanese President Omar Bashir. But now, why not bring the Israeli President and Prime Minister to justice? Why were 400 children killed? Why only focus on one thing [Darfur]? Why [doesn’t the head] of the United Nations investigation committee for Darfur come now and say we have to charge the Israeli leaders and bring them to the court for [crimes committed against] those who were killed here in the Gaza Strip. Israel is using banned weapons and this is so clear if you go to the footage on the TV and you see the phosphorous bombs being bombed on the people here. Gaza is a very densely populated area including hundreds of thousands of civilians who have nothing to do with this cruel and brutal war.

Do you think that it’s possible that Israel will continue the occupation of Gaza for some time?

Well who’s to say that Israel has left Gaza before? It was a lie in 2005 that Israel withdrew from Gaza and demolished its settlements. They pulled out of Gaza and encircled Gaza and now they are reaching back into Gaza. And after the war is finished, they will go around [encircle] Gaza, they will control everything, and they will be opening and closing the crossings as they want. They will not give us our freedom. Gaza was never a free town or a free city! It was always under Israeli occupation.

Sir, we’ve read reports in recent hours that Israeli troops have penetrated deep inside Gaza City itself and you mentioned earlier that you could hear the bombing outside the window of your house. How far have Israeli troops penetrated inside the city and what do you think will happen next sir?

I live in the eastern part of Gaza City. I can tell you that no Israeli soldiers are in Gaza City itself. They are still on the borders of Gaza City. They are being faced by a big amount of fighting and fire by the Palestinian militants. They are still on the borders [and none of their soldiers] was able to get into Gaza City. And if they were to get in to the Gaza City, for sure there would be thousands of people dying because [it] is a densely populated area.

How strong and determined is the resistance and how much popular support is there for the resistance forces in Gaza?

Well yes I’ve met many people who are in charge of these things and the resistance and managed to make interviews with them for some newspapers. I tell you the militants and fighters are more determined than ever to go on despite the terrible risk to fight against this big army and big country with an air force, with a ground force, with tanks, F-16’s and Apaches but they are still adamant because they have the will, they have the strength, they think that they are under occupation, they think the only way to free your country [is by resisting] and they are adamant to go on that track.

How do you explain the relative silence of your brothers and sisters in the West Bank and how do you feel about the complicity of Mahmoud Abbas in the Israeli attacks on Gaza?

Yeah you’re right the West Bank is under the control of President Abbas and he’s in charge of negotiations with Israel and he’s running and operating the steps of the Road Map and part of this road map is to have no kind of resistance at all and this is what we have seen in the West Bank. In the West Bank we did have resistance but [now] we only have negotiations. But I guess Israel was not good enough for Mr Abbas because it did not give him peace despite the calm he gave them in the West Bank.

How dangerous is right now for you to go outside where you are? You mentioned earlier that there are bombings going on. How dangerous is it right now to go outside?

Nowhere is safe. You know I was outside trying to handle some news, some work but I had to quickly get back to my house afraid of what’s happening, afraid of the drones, the drones hit everywhere and I could not stay outside for long. I had to quickly slip into my house which is not safe by the way! My house was hit two times, my cousin’s house was hit two times by the artillery shells, but we are safe thank God and it was a miracle to be safe.

Sir, may I say again on behalf of all three of us in the studio that it’s been an enormous privilege for you to speak to us in an obviously extremely dangerous and difficult situation. We wish you and your family all the best. We hope you remain safe and we hope that eventually the resistance in Palestine will be victorious.

Random Thoughts (Part 2)

1) I got a serious issue with doctors. Dont get me wrong, I think their great in trying to save people’s lives and unlike the Firemens of our society (which I strongly believe, we can do without), I appreciate their profession. But on the other hand, I dont like the arrogance I’ve witnessed from many doctors. To bring matters on a more personal level, I haven’t visited a doctor for a couple of years now and before that, I went over 7 years without coming face to face with one. I’ve been relatively healthy my entire life (alhamdulilah) but during my last visit to a doctor (which by the way, was forced upon me by my employer), I walked into his office and said, “don’t take this personal but, I know my body better then you’ll ever know it so lets keep the words to a minimum and sign this piece of paper so I can get out of your way, sir”.  And just in case your interested in knowing how that appointment went, lets just say, I wont be seeing him again. 

2) I went to a Safari this passed summer and I came face to face with a grown male lion. That monster they call, the king of the jungle, was as big as our Ford Escape. I sat quietly in the car, minding my own business, looking at the wild beast through the windows and suddenly I noticed, the lion’s eyes screaming for ever ounce of my blood (or at least, that’s what my paranoia mentioned). What’s the lion’s problem right? Right. And my mother didn’t raise no punk so I starred back into his eyes and that ignorant beast wouldn’t look away. And that was right around the time I shifted my body towards his direction and gave him one of those, “is there a  problem” facial expressions but he went unmoved. I was certain, at that moment, he was mocking me and I was no punk so I decided, it would probably be more appropriate for me to open the car door and see what his issue with me was; after all, he kept looking at me with a look of disrespect. And just as I was about to open the car door, an alarm in my body went off and that was when I realized, there may be a problem if I continued with my intentions to open the door. Shortly afterwards, I heard a voice coming from within me, reminding me, just in case I didnt already know, I was about to open the door to a grown lion and no matter where your from or your level of education, that was a NO NO! And if that didn’t deter me, there was a sign, marked with big red letter stating, “Danger: Do not open your windows or doors – you will be eaten!” and after reading that sign, I decided, it was within the best interest of everyone in the car, including myself, to keep ALL the doors and windows locked and sealed.  

3) I just hate it when people write ’saw’ at the end of our beloved Messenger’s name. Is it too much to ask, to take a few extra seconds out of your day and complete the sentence. If not for any other reason, how about respect. Peace be upon him is our duty to state and write at the end of Muhammad’s name (peace be upon him).

4) Everyone has goals. The only thing differentiating the people and their goals are, some are realistic and others aren’t. Some have stated, my ultimate goal in life is to become happy and yet, they lack to understand the true definition of happiness. I realized my goal and it is simple: I want to be the greatest father to have ever walked the surface of this earth. And just the other day, when I had seated myself and had committed to my planning stages of how I could accomplish that goal, a companion, who was present as I had dosed off into a different universe, mentioned a few words that brought reality back into my life. He said, “you cant possibly be a great father to your children if you’re over looking what is required from you in becoming a great husband”. His words , have since been melted onto the doors of my conscious and I cant stop but ask myself, could he be right?

5) What is the big fuss about 2009? According to every legitimate calendar I’ve seen in the masjid, it’s actually the year 1430. And the year 1430 has big things in store for me inshAllah. I cant speak for anyone else but, all I’ve been thinking about is, can this year be the year of my death? If so, please forgive me for what I’ve done to you and assalam alaikum. See you on the other side?

6) Talking about starting a new year, last year, I put a lot of millage on my body. In other words, I’ve over worked my body and didnt provide it with the proper rest. Not to mention, I cant seem to understand this word many folks often use: ‘unhealthy’. Apparently, and it was a surprise to me more then anyone else, there are meals and food consumptions that are considered very ‘unhealthy’. Question: According to WHO? The doctors? I’m sorry but, I’ve already told the doctor, I know my body better then he does.

7) Have you heard of the NBA All-Star Game? It’s a showdown of all the world’s best basketball players who come together for one night, to display their God given ability in-front of millions of millions of people, worldwide. That said, I heard of a story, of one Muslim man who gave his deposit for hajj 2009 to his local masjid and upon hearing that all the seats to his favourite athletic occasion were nearly sold out (and by ‘athletic occasion’, I mean, NBA All-Star Game), he rushed to his masjid, asked the administration for his $1,500 back and upon receiving it, forwarded that money to Ticketmaster, and believe it or not, he’ll be present this coming All-Star Game in Phoenix (inshAllah). It’s a really sad situation when an individual takes money out of his Hajj deposit account at the masjid and rushes to purchase an NBA All-Star Game ticket.

8 ) Facebook is really wasting my time. But having access to all my friends and many more people, not to mention, groups and discussions, got me revisiting the site often. I wish though, I could do away with it. And who knows, maybe sooner rather then later, I’ll retire my account for good.

9) My friends call me ‘Ansari’ and after hearing them label me with this title, I raised my hands to the sky and thanked Allah for giving me such a beautiful nickname.

10) On the topic of nicknames, I met a woman, over a year ago, who is known as Al-Ankaaboot (The Spider). I always assumed it was because of her relationship with the Surah Al-Ankaboot but when I asked her, she said, when she was younger, a man who was in love with her wrote a poem describing her and he titled it, Al-Ankaboot. How is stuck all those years, I dont know!

11) I’m in love and with who, you would be surprised. She’s the most wonderful female to walk the surface of this earth. She is beautiful, warm hearted and she smiles all the time. She is young and filled with limitless energy. And most of all, my heart is in a state of comfort, for I have access to her 24/7. She is my beautiful, 2 year old niece. Her parents named her Jannah, but to me I call her the light of my heart. In addition to being in complete love with her, every Friday, we share hours and hours of quality time and not to long ago, we had a session called Reading Friday, in which she picked up a book and had the opportunity to read it to me. It was perfect. Her reading skills need to improve but as long as I stay committed to her, she will succeed inshAllah. I am to her a father figure, her best friend and more importantly, a protector and an individual who loves her with all his heart. I often dont captured special moments on camera but on this occasion, I was ready and down below, I present it to you. 

 

And one more picture of my beautiful Jannah:

In Remembrance of Gaza

     If words can change the world then the burdens of the society would’ve already been placed to rest. And if Allah intended to give the world to the liars and the arrogant folks, then the remnants of Ad would be found in our museums but that is not the way of life nor did Allah create the creation to hand it over to those who over value their standing with Him. My grandfather would often repeat, “patience is the hallway towards the doors of success” and I would never second guess the wisdom of my grandfather but one must ask, what about too much patience? Is there such a thing?

     In recent days, I’ve been over burden with the struggles of life and the consist battles with shaitan, losing some battles, winning others but with the latest events coming out of Gaza, my heart is in great pain. A level of pain that no lover has ever experienced, no matter whom he loved or what era he lived through. It is shameful, as I watch the numbers of civilians killed by the Zionist regime grow; the men,  who’ve been given the responsibility through Allah to rule over the affairs of the Muslims, turn their backs on the situation involving the people of Gaza, one must wonder, are the Arab leaders more fearful of Allah or are they afraid of meeting death at the hands of those who’ve refused Islam? The answer, although very apparent to the naked eye, is still very much unknown to the hearts of men. Until of course, on the very Last Day, the answer to such a question will be made public to us by Allah, and until that day I suggest we treat the leaders of the Arab and Muslim world as the clowns they are, and if not that, then we should grant them attitudes of disrespect, for respect is earned and they have earned none of it. Believe it or not, I’m a very optimistic person but even my optimism has limits and this time, the Arab leaders have crossed that line. I’m not surprised at the aggression of Israel, for they are known to do what they are doing but what if I told you, despite the murderous behaviour by the Zionist towards my fellow Muslim brothers and sisters who have lost their lives, I continue to remind myself, after every hardship comes ease and after today’s over aggression by Israel, tomorrow, the Muslims around the globe will come to know, their leaders deserve no respect and should not be supported. I see a movement coming in the horizon but the question is, do you?  A movement in which the general masses of Muslims will shout at the top of their lungs, enough is enough.  But as for today, I call for patience and tomorrow we shall witness the movement many call, “the changing of tides”.

I have compiled a few verses of poetry bringing to light the burden which has overtaken my heart in recent days.

 

(Gaza – You are in my thoughts. I loved you yesterday, and I love you today. To Allah we belong and to Him we shall return)

 

Bombs bombs bombs,

falling from the sky,

one follows the other throughout the night.

Hand after hand, raised to the sky

as the tears flow begging Allah to send His mercy and His light.

 

I read a letter from my brother in Palestine

He spoke of the day he witnessed his own mother die,

he remained composed and didn’t want to cry,

but his words ripped from my soul, every bit of light

As I actively watched their situation streamed live

Until I concluded, death is indeed better then life

 

In Gaza,

mothers of innocent children continue to die

our sisters lift their abaayas and flee for their lives

as the orphans sit in seclusion wiping the tears from their lonely eyes,

after their fathers have met death and perhaps their memories will fade from their sight.

But another generation will rise to defend the cause on this very night

chanting with pride,

“victory today and tomorrow we shall enter paradise”

but how many days shall the clouds of death overtake the people of Palestine

 

Just the other night,

my ancestor presented himself to me in a dream,

he asked, what has become of Palestine

In shame, I remained silent because I didn’t want to lie

He grabbed me by the collar and said, “wont you stand up for what’s right”

I responded to his question and said,

Its not from my nature to swear but to the situation I say, f**k this!

O’ my uncle, I am certain life without dignity isn’t worth shit!

And excuse my profanity, wont you grant my burdened soul permission to sit?

He turned to me and said,

“O’ child, if only the people of the past could see your state,

disgraced would be placed at the end of all your last names”

 

 

Question from a Reader

Question: “Does it seem strange to you that you will not be able to marvel at what will occur on that Day because of how terrible that day will be?”

     It’s a really interesting question and honestly, as was insisted, I took a few hours and pondered over it. At first I was sort of confused at what angle  my opinions should be derived from, but then I kept re-reading the example about the angels descending and the doors of Jannah opening and then it hit me: it’s very difficult to picture the Day of Judgment and mainly because its a terrible day. Have you ever pondered over the fact that your grave will pop open and generally speaking, humans do not like to be left alone but on that Day, everyone will stand for his own. Again, words cant illustrates the horror nor can the descriptions from our books bring about a level of reality regarding the Day of Judgment that would be acceptable to our creative minds and imagination. Nevertheless, we continue to be engaged in an inner fight to convert the words of the Quran and its descriptions of the Day of Judgment into real life examples using our imaginations and if you ask me, such an action defeats the purpose of absorbing the knowledge of the Last Day and converting that information into a higher level of taqwa. A level of taqwa that would allow you to consistently live with firm faith that there will come a day in which the servant must answer to his King. A King who created the heavens and the earth and did not create the creation without a purpose. 

     Does it seem strange to me that I am not capable of picturing what will occur on that Day because of how terrible and horrified the events of that Day shall be? No, I don’t find it strange. I do not find it strange because Allah, with His wisdom and knowledge, created us with minds that can not over succeeded its maximum potential of understanding the pureness of the unseen. In my opinion, there are things that Allah wanted us to know (ie, the stories of past, the messengers and their names, etc) and then there were matters in which Allah mentioned to us but revealed little knowledge regarding (ie, the soul, etc), and another category of issues in which Allah increased our knowledge and faith, and that category was intended to serve as a reminder of what shall come and be, but with the knowledge Allah sent down, the restrictions within our minds to picture such events were not released (ie, events such as the Last Day, understanding the concept of an eternal life, etc). How can I expect myself to be able to marvel the occurrence of events such as the Last Day when I cant seem to understand the existence of the world of Jinn, even though I have been told of their existence and much more? The point is, rather than over burdening my mind and heart, I accept the Last Day and its reality and furthermore, it is a Day in which many souls shall loose hope and the once upon a time expensive sincere tear, shall be worthless.

     Of course there are times when I sit back and think to myself, why would my mother and father who love me just as they love themselves and maybe even more, turn their backs on me (on that Day)? Later that same day, when I would visit my mother and find her engaged in some worldly acts, I would look into her eyes and I would notice her love for me and I could only conclude, the only reason my mother would turn her back on me would be under grave circumstances and thus, the Last Day is a type of day in which I will never be able to fully comprehend until I experience the trails of that Day for myself. I pray and wish to survive such trails so that I may enter Jannah and be able to look back and ponder over that Day with a better understanding and a higher level of gratitude.  But until that Day, I only have the verses of the Quran and the hadeeth of our Messenger (peace be upon him) in which I shall review hoping it will prepare me for such a grave Day.

I Have My Own Dream

I have a Dream:

 

     It happened a few decades before I came into existence and therefore, unfortunately I wasn’t amongst the hundreds of thousands of people who gathered to witness Dr. Martin Luther King deliver his famous “I Have a Dream” speech but that does not mean I don’t have my own dream. In fact, I think my dream could be considered the Dream of all dreams because my dream is a dream in which I am certain hundreds of thousands of others have also dreamt that very same dream. I dream of a Greater Somalia.

 

     A Somalia that is not limited to regions which are distinguished from other regions by different flags hanging from different areas within the same land nor a Somalia that is divided by tribal tensions which have grasped the latest of our generations by their throats, preventing unity even amongst our children. I dream of a Somalia that would become the shinning example for the world to follow; a Nation that would be known for its justice and good standing and furthermore, a nation who would stand as one to fight against the oppressors from the world. I dream of a Nation who would risk its own existence for one of its citizens because the wrong done to one citizen leads to the collapse of the foundation built upon justice. And most importantly, I dream of a nation who would rule its people not based on laws that change over time and need constant reform but a law that would enjoin on its citizens the rulings and commandments of the Most High because such rulings do not prosper one group over another rather, they are laws that are divine and just. My dream for a greater Somalia may seem unrealistic to many while others foolishly compare our people to the Americans with such statements as, “if the Americans can elect an African American as their president, we Somalis can come together for a greater cause”, and to such a statement I respond, DON’T ever compare me nor my people to the Americans! I mean, EVER ever ever ever! Secondly, if the Americans hadn’t elected an African America as their leader would that mean, the Somalis would not be able to unite for a greater cause? No, and therefore such a statement carries little to no value. Now my dream for a greater Somali did not end with the above mentioned points, so back to my dream…

 

     I have dreamt for such a long time for a Somalia that would provide security to all its citizens and grant rights to move about in the land with freedom and safety to all its foreign visitors. A nation who would invests in their children so that their children would grow to become the leaders for the next generation of mankind. I dream of a nation filled with courageous men and respected women. A nation that would be the home to true soldiers and one of these soldiers would be equivalent to a thousand members from the US Special Forces. And one of our soldiers would not be equivalent to a thousand of their men because of his physic or his wealth but due to his courage and his love for justice. The difference between the two soldiers would be, when the Somali soldiers march forward to enjoin good and to do away with injustice, a Somali soldier needs not the assistance of an F16 flying above nor the security of a Helicopter Gunship and why would he need such assistance when he is defending justice and is not the leading supporter for corruption and the face of oppression? I dream of a Somalia that provides health care and a strong education system not to mention, addresses the issues of homeland poverty. I dream of a nation that does not forget its sister Nations at the very first taste of prosperity. And finally, I dream of a Somalia that our great grandparents worked so hard to establish for us and would also cause them to become proud of our contributions towards building a state that recognizes peace and unity, love and justice.  

I came to visit you!

     I needed to get away. And while the people around me were debating and engaged in a heated conversation, I slid away from their gathering and into my car. I was on a well paved road heading north when I questioned myself; where am I heading? I did not know. I pulled over to take some time to reflect and that was when I’d recalled the memories of my late friend. Then and there, I remembered him. He was a companion of mine whom, I was present and I witnessed the day his body was lowered into the cold earth, and soon afterwards, I was given the unpleasing duty of throwing dirt onto his casket. On that day, it was cold, the wind was blowing with rage and the women, who had been advised not to come to the graveyard, disobyed such orders and I found them standing not from his resting place. I remembered I had asked Allah not to hold my friend accountable for their actions, and as his body escaped their vision, the women of close relation to him, screamed with sorrow from the distance. Upon recalling the emotions I felt on that very day, I felt a need to revisit his grave. I drove for another 20-30 minutes heading further north, and as I approached the graveyard, I grew nervous. My nerves became feelings of sadness and my sadness transformed into shyness. I had grown shy because its been so long since I’ve visited my friend, and I remember the day I buried him, I was among the last of the people to walk away from his grave. I remember on that day, I was thinking to myself, how can we leave him alone? Wont he feel lonely? Wont he ask about his family and his close companions? I didn’t want to leave him alone and with sadness and tears in my eyes, I walked away from his grave. 

     When I had approached the graveyard which held the souls of many Muslims, mixed emotions overtook me. I was hesistent to walk up to my companion’s grave and give him my salaams. I was shy because, once upon a time, I did not want to leave him alone and here I was, a couple of years later, returning to give him my salaams and make dou’aa for him? That just didn’t seem right. True companionship, according to my definiton, are those who love you in death as they loved you during your life, who respect your honour when you have passed on, as they guarded your honour when you stood next to them, and who visit your grave as they visited you at your home; I did not believe I had fulfilled those rights and I felt I had let my companion down. But that was the past, and this was the present and I was committed to making things right; I shook off such negative thoughts and proceed forward with my intention to visit my late friend. 

     When I reached the graveyard and pulled into the road which led to his resting place, I found many souls where buried there. I parked my car on the side of some graves, slowly withdrew myself from the vehicle, and as I looked around, I noticed I was alone. The sight of many graves, and the quietness of the souls which dwell therein, left me speechless. I stood still and the cold wind blew into my face the realities of life after death. I tried to comprehend what life would be like in the grave but my imagination failed me. The grave: a place of loneliness?  That was when I’d recalled the words of one Muslim woman who said, “why am I dying (ie, eager) to live, when I’m living to die?”, and I knew this Muslim woman from my days of attending school with her and I had never heard her speak truer words then those.

     I started to walk towards my companion’s grave and I remembered the day when his body was lowered into the ground; an Imaam was present on that day and after the body of my friend was established firmly beneath the ground, the Imaam took it upon himself to recite some verses from Surah Baqarah. Not only did the Imaam’s recitation of the Second Chapter from the Noble Quran change my view of that Surah, but I returned to the very spot which I stood on the day he recited those verses and after lowering my head, due to shame and sadness, I gave my salaams to my friend and extended my greetings to those who laid around him. The wind blew west, and the temperature was dropping as Maghrib approached and I stood over my companion’s grave in complete silence. I started wondering about his current state and how he was doing? It’s been two years since he had entered life in the grave and I could not help myself but to feel sadness for him. I recalled all those beautiful moments we shared with each other, our conversations, and everything we shared had faded with his lost. At that moment, standing over his grave, I came to the conclusion that many folks feel sorrow for the lost of their loved ones but not because they worry about the situation of the deceased after life but rather, their sadness is a result of “I miss so and so”. It’s like the feeling of one lover who has been separated from their love and with each day that passes, their strength of love for that particular person reminds their soul of their feeling of “missing”. And I have felt such feelings of “missing” for others but as I stood, I honestly felt, I wasn’t missing my friend (although I do care about him); I felt sadness for him because I didn’t know what became of him. I didn’t know if he was being punished or if he was spared the torment of the grave. In other words, I felt for his situation and I wasn’t thinking about my selfish soul. I wasn’t thinking, “Why did I loose him?”; more like, “my Lord, please, have mercy on his soul”.

     After some time, I decided to speak. And I knew very well that my friend could not hear my words but my soul begged from within to be given a stage in which it could declare some inner thoughts. I looked towards the shy and I felt Maghrib was quickly approaching so I started by stating, “I don’t have much time, and I know you can not hear me, but my soul needs an opportunity to state some words”. I continued, “I cant imagine life under the ground, and I’m certain that you would love an opportunity to come back to the world in order to add to your scrolls of good deeds but I want you to know, I miss you and I love you. And soon my friend, I shall join you. Soon, I will embark upon the same path which you have experienced and I hope one day, perhaps in the gardens of paradise, I shall see your face again. Many people continue to miss you but a few of those folks sorrow is established on the foundation of uncertainty for you. While some are “missing” you, I want you to know, my feelings for you are based upon the uncertainty of where your deeds have led you to? If I was informed from above the heavens that you are in a state of peace and you shall enter paradise, I would not feel sad for you; in fact, I would rejoice for your successful mission of the worldly life. But I have no confirmation from above of heavens therefore, my heart seeks the answers to what has become of your situation. Just know, even if the people of the earth forget about you, I wont. I’ve mentioned your name and your impact on my life in my future book to my children and I assure you, they will know your story as my heart remembers your story. And although I cant promise that Allah will preserve my book and thereby, many folks from future generations will know about you, I can promise that your words of wisdom will remain within me forever. And know, I will ask about you on the Day I meet my Lord and I hope you will be of those shaded under the shade of our Lord’s Throne. I must go now because the prayer is upon me but before I depart, I ask Allah, our Lord, the Lord of the Unseen and the One with All-Power to spare you from the punishment of the grave and the Fire. I ask Allah to reward you according to the best of your deeds, and to forgive you for your shortcomings.”

     And just before I turned around to walk away, I recited a verse of poetry which I had written in his remembrance, “and those who don’t fear death because death is the result of living life”