Hey Homie, Im Getting Married

My paranoia catches the the movement of foreign hands reaching to open my bedroom door. I awake quickly to notice my companion Talha standing tall in my room with a smile to his face. I glanced at my alarm clock and it was 8:20 am. I was surprised to see his presence in such an early part of the morning. I freed my body from the feeling of paranoia and threw my heavy blanket over my head. I tried to dose off into a deep sleep but my body was in a state of pain, perhaps recovering from the aftermaths of the battles I’ve been fighting in my nightmares. Soon afterwards I heard his voice…

Talha: Yo you’re a light sleeper. I didn’t even touch the door and you’re already up and looking at my direction. Man, you need to go see a doctor about that paranoia thing…and don’t tell me that you were born with it.

(I didn’t respond to his statement. I continued to lay there in silence)

Talha: Listen, I got some good news and I got some bad news…which do you want to hear first?

Ameen: What I really wanna hear is the sound of your head hitting the pillow. Yo, I promise I’ll listen to anything you want to tell me but right now, I need you to join my sleep party. Can you? Rumour has it, if you fall asleep fast enough, Khalid Ibn Waleed will be guest staring in your dream. So less talking and more sleeping homie….

Talha: I just woke up from my eight hours sleep. I cant sleep no more. Besides, why you so tired? What were you doing last night? Were you on the phone? On the computer? On the Almaghrib Forums? Listening to a lecture? What were you doing? Anyways, forget that. As I was saying, I got some really really BIG NEWS and some bad news. Which do you wanna hear first?

Ameen: Good news? Bad News? First of all, how did you get into my apartment? No one lives here but me and my..

Talha: Oh I used a spare key…but Yo, which do you wanna hear first?

Ameen: Where did you get a spare key…? I’m interested to know.

Talha: From your sister. I asked her and she gave it to me…but anyways, I CANT HOLD BACK anymore, good news or bad news..?

Ameen: Iight..this must be some big news eh? Tell me the bad news first then inshAllah

Talha: Bad news? Well the bad news wont make no sense unless you hear the good news first..

Ameen: Fine. Tell me the good news…and tell me fast cause I need to get a few more hours of shut eye before my day begins. I got a lot of things to do today inshAllah

Talha: Well, if you really wanna know the bad news first I could tell you but it just wouldn’t make any sense…you feel me?

Ameen: Talha, homie..just tell me the news…

Talha: Okay. Fine. I’ll tell you the good news. Are you ready…?

Ameen: More then ever…just spill the news?

Talha: Homie, I’m getting married. And Im getting married next Saturday. Can you believe it…?

Ameen: Say What? HUH? Married? I mean like…Where? When? Who…? What?

Talha: I know, great news right? And it was so easy…

Ameen: But when did this happen? I mean, I haven’t seen you in like a week and you’re telling me that you found someone and met her Wali and set a date all in like one week?

Talha: Yeah, isn’t that amazing? Well, its actually been ten days since I last saw you but I was introduce to this sister from school and then I set an appointment to meet with her father and next thing I knew, Im Getting Married! It was easy…

Ameen: Thats crazy! Very Nice, crazy. But you weren’t interested in getting married. Or at least, thats what you’ve been telling me for a minute (a while).

Talha: I know..but I realized that I NEED to get married.

Ameen: When did you realize this…? And why didn’t you tell me…?

Talha: After the RIS, I realized I cant meet my Lord by myself. Shiek Yasir Qadhi’s lecture motivated me to find Ms. Right and alhamdulilah I think I may have found her. I just told myself I got to do it and I was scared as heck in meeting her father, by the way…her father was like 6’3, 300 lbs and his hands were like the size of the paws of a Grizzly Bear. The guy was huge. He was a monster but mashAllah he’s was so nice.

Ameen: I’m surprised you didn’t faint.

Talha: I was about too but lucky for me, my uncle came with me and he gave me support.

Ameen: That’s the best news I could hear…man, I’m so happy for you mashAllah. So whats the bad news…

Talha: Oh yeah, the bad news. Dont get mad but my nikkah is on the same day as our basketball playoff game. I know that sucks but trust me, Im trying really hard to re-schedule the date but I’m having a hard time in doing so. Just be patient with me homie cause it might take some time, even though…there is less then a week left. Besides, how can they expect me to focus on getting married if I have a huge playoff basketball game on the same day?

Ameen: Are you serious? Forget the basketball game! Did I actually say that…I mean, lets consider your options here. You can get married and complete half your deen and look forward to many beautiful years inshAllah or you can focus on getting the enjoyment of putting a ball into a basket and see where that takes you. Which one will it be? I say you get married.

Talha: I’m gonna get married but I don’t understand why my wife, can I even call her that yet? Well, I don’t understand why she chose that day? Can you believe, out of all the days in the calendar, my luck has it that she would select the same day as my big playoff game.

Ameen: Did you tell her..that date is kinda important to you in some werid way.

Talha: No.

Ameen: Then I guess, next Saturday inshAllah, you will join the ranks of the married men of history. *starts laughing*

Talha: Why you laughing? Cant you see, I’m in a dilemma. I need to find a way to tell her that I can not miss my playoff game.

Ameen: Yo, we’re on the same team and I’m not getting married but I’m more than willing to miss the game…So you need to forget about it. Just let it go cause its GONE.

Talha: Damn. I’m really gonna miss my game.

Ameen: I think this has nothing to do with the actual game but something to do with the fact that you’re scared of getting married. 

Talha: Scared? Come on man. Me, scared? I dont think so. But let me ask you something, is it normal for me to feel nervous about getting married? I mean, I’m really nervous. My hands can’t stop shaking.

Ameen: I don’t know. I guess its normal. I once heard a married brother talk about how he felt his chest was about to explode just before he got married so I guess your shaking hands is actually a bargain. But homie, don’t worry about it..everything will be cool inshAllah.

Talha: You don’t understand. The reason Im nervous is her father is HUGE. He looks like a WWE wrestler. I went to sleep last night and I had a dream that he was…I don’t even wanna say.

Ameen: You’re trippin. Get your composure right. Everything will be fine. You heard me? Everything is chilling..

Talha: Yeah everything will be fine inshAllah. Can you believe it…Me, I, Talha, is getting married. Ameen, you’re such a loser. If you were serious about getting married, you probably could get married.

Ameen: First of all, Im serious and Allah knows best. Secondly, lets not talk about me. Today is your day so lets celebrate.

Talha: I thought you wanted to get a few more hours of shut eye. I mean, didnt you want to go to sleep?

Ameen: Shut what? The only thing I’m shutting is all your hotmail accounts. No more MSN, no more SOL, no more anything.

Talha: Nothing?

Ameen: Just you and your wife. Focus on the new family.  But anyways, let me get ready cause I got to go shopping for something clean cause my homeboy is getting Hitched.

Talha: I’m not getting hitched. I’m just entering into a contract that will probably keep me committed until death. Oh my gosh, I’m getting hitched. Look my hands are shaking…

Ameen: (Laughing) I don’t mean to laugh but you’re over re-acting. Just chill cause everything will be alright inshAllah. I’m here with you.

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16 Responses

  1. Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

    congrats to your friend

  2. I know..Big Ups to Talha.

    By the way, why are you saying Awww?

    Do you think the story is cute or something…?

    I never thought about that when I was writing it…my bad Talha.

  3. Definately sweet …its not a bad thing at all though

    its a happy ending, or should i say begining:)

    May Allah make it easy for us all.

  4. Aameen to your dou’aa…Ya Rabbi, Aameen

  5. Subha’nllah i know how talha iz feeling boi. marriage IS scary maybe you can write about real life experiences and how brothers feel coming up to the BIG day. I mean why do a lot of people feel hesitant in taking that first step???

  6. Xalimo, Welcome to my blog.

    I can Mos Def write about that topic cause I’ve had my share of homeboys get married within the past year-year and half and I remember some of their scares and stories.

    Maybe I can change up their names and share the truth about their feelings regarding marriage.

    Why are alot of people hesitant about taking the first step? Well stay tuned cause I’ll share the secrets that some brothers try to hide. Hopefully I can shad some light on this issue sooner rather than later inshAllah.

    And Allah knows best

  7. You know what this means… you’re NEXT! Don’t think we haven’t noticed you have “The Fever”. With all your posts lately being about marriage/children/women… bro, please.

    PS- It would be neat if Talha could be like a ‘guest writer’ on the blog, to give us the insider perspective, especially if it’s something he’s going through at the moment. May Allah bless their union, inshAllah.

  8. Assalamualaikum….Akhee Ameen.

    Hope u have completed ur rest sleep by now….lol.Any way i would like to share something with brother talha & in general with everyone…

    Marriage is like weather,forever changing.sometimes it is cloudy & rainy,life appears gloomy,then the sun and rays of happiness break through bringing joy.At times,one experiences rain,wind and sunshine all in one day..such is life and like the seasons we go through different experiences.The secret is to remain devoed and seadfast to one’s deen and spouse….

    Life does not provide warranties and guarantees.It only provides possibilities and opportunities.For those who dare will make best use of it.

    Any body can love a rose,but it takes a great deal to love a thorn…A rose is not injured though it lives in midst of them, then how about we?

    Let’s not complain about others,Let’s change ourselfs if only we want peace .It is easier to protect our feet with slippers than to cover the earth with carpet.

    My good wishes,supplications and salam to u as u deserve them all.

  9. Safia, LOL@You have the fever. I didnt know you were a doctor nor did I know my symtoms were that bad. On a serious note, its a popular theme to write about. In addition, in between my posts on women, children and marriage, I’ve written about courage, sadaqah, and myself. So I guess in reality Im just mixing the topics up.

    But indeed, marriage is a popular subject on the tongs of many people and I’ve been guilty of words that are “politically correct” in some of my sentences so I better change up my ways, before I get fired lol.

    By the way, I would ask Talha to guest write on my blog but I’ve never seen him so nervous in my entire life. He’s so busy getting ready for his new life and we, being his homeboys, are preparing ourselves to lose him to the world of marriage.

    Hamid, I like your post bro. MashAllah you make great points.

  10. I’ve enjoyed reading your blog for a while now, and I must say that this post was hilarious!

    May Allah grant your friend Talha a long and blessed marriage, ameen. And may his wrestler-lookalike father-in-law be the best in-law ever! Ameen.

  11. Assalam Pleiades, welcome to the Blog.

    I’m glad you’re enjoying the posts. And Aameen to your dou’aas for Talha cause he will indeed be in need of them since his new father-in-law has caused him to display his best manners.

    Poor guy…poor old Talha.

  12. السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته
    Akhee…what a funny dialogue for a blog! Is that what really happens when an Akhee gets married, or a young westerner atleast? I guess it depends on the person’s personality and how they deal with situations. I guess, I would fit into the category where I would just go with the follow and let tomorrow brings what it’s going bring as it’s going to happen because it’s destined to happen by the will of Allah (s.w.t.) and once we know the only being worthy of being scared of, have love for and hope the best for is no other than Allah (s.w.t.). It’s all human nature, however whatever has to be done, has to be done, and let’s get in the mood of just getting it done because Allah (s.w..t) is FOREVER watching. Once we are God Conscious 24/7, insha’Allah there should be no worries about anything because your partner should be at that same level insha’Allah & Allah knows best.

  13. oh, and he (we) might need this as well, incase he’s forgotten it…
    “O Allah, I ask You for the best of her and the best of what you have endowed her with. And I seek refuge in You from the worst of her and the worst of what You have endowed her with”[

    Sunan Abu Dawud 2:248 #2160]

  14. +

  15. The Ideal Muslim Husband

    Abu Hurayrah related that the Prophet (SAWS) said:

    “The most perfect believer is he whose conduct is best, and the best among you is he who behaves best towards his wife”

    [at-Tirmidhi]

    * He treats his wife fairly and decently.

    * He shouldn’t let his study, work, hobbies, responsibilities or friends take up all his time and keep him from her.

    * Islam guarantees woman’s rights to enjoy her husband to the extent that it even tells the husband not to spend all his time in worship. Abdullah ibn Amr ibn al ‘As relates that the prophet (saws) said:

    “Have I not heard that you fast all day and stay up all night in prayer?” Abdullah said, “That is true, O Messenger of Allah.” The Prophet (Saws) told him: “Do not do that. Fast and break your fast, sleep and get up. For your body has a right over you, your eyes have a right over you, your wife has a right over you, and your visitors have a right over you.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

    * He should treat his wife in the best possible way, with a smiling face, tolerance, easy-going and light-hearted nature, and gentle humor.

    Aisha (RA) reported that when she went on a journey with the Prophet (Saws), she challenged him to a race and won. Later, when she had gained weight, she raced him again, but this time he won, and he told her, “This is for that”. [sahih hadith narrated by Ahmed and Abu Dawud]

    In another report, Aisha said:

    “By Allah, I saw the Prophet (Saws) standing at the door of my room, when some Abyssinians were playing with spears in the mosque. The Messenger of Allah (saws) screened me with his cloak so that I could watch the spear-play over his shoulder. He stayed there for my sake , until I had seen enough. So pay attention to young girl’s need for entertainment.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]

    * Should make himself attractive to her

    * He does not overreact and become angry for trivial reason [many ignorant husbands do, creating chaos if their wives offer them food that they don’t like, or if their meal is late, or any other reason which usually causes an unnecessary amount of anger, arguments and trouble between spouses].

    * He has a deep and compassionate understanding of his wife’s nature and psychology.

    *He directs his wife towards the straight path of Islam

    *He recognizes what she likes, what she desires, her moods, and tries to reconcile between them and the ideal life and behavior he wants for her. font>

    *He understands his wife and respects her feelings

    *He does not criticize her family or any of her relations to her. (She shouldn’t do this as well, of course)

    *He does not disclose any secrets that she entrusted him with.

    *He helps her make up for her failings and weaknesses

    -for example, if she is lacking in knowwledge or manners, he should help her in a kind, gentle , and positive manner. . He avoids harsh criticism [especially in front of people]. The true Muslim is the most sensitive and respectful towards the feelings of others.

    *He knows how to strike a balance between pleasing his wife and treating his mother with due kindness and respect. He tries not to offend either one of them. He is not disobedient towards his mother or oppressive towards his wife. He recognizes his mother’s rights and treats her in the best way, while also recognizing his wife’s rights.

    *He totally understands his role as a protector and maintainer of women [Qawwam]

    -With a good attitude and gentle treatment, the Muslim husband wins the heart of his wife so that she does not disobey him in anything

    —In the name of God, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful—

    “Men are the protectors and maintainers {qawwamun] of women, because Allah has given the one more [strength] than the other and because they support them from their means..” [Quran, Al-Nisa 4:34]

    The Prophet said:

    “Each of you is a shepherd, and each of you is responsible for those under his care. A ruler is a shephard; a man is the shepherd of his family; a woman is the shepherd of her husband’s house and children. For each of you is a shepherd and each of you is responsible for those under his care.” [Agreed upon]

    Concluding, the Ideal Muslim husband has a strong and likeable personality, a noble attitude, tolerance and forgiveness for minor mistakes, strong adherence to the laws of Allah and determination to apply them to his family, generosity without being extravagant, and a clear understanding of an Ideal Muslim home.

    The Husband’s obligations; Women’s rights

    He is commanded to be kind to his wife

    He is commanded to comfort his wife

    He should consort with his wife in an equitable and kind manner

    He is responsible for full maintenance of the wife, in a cheerful manner

    -lodging, clothing, sustenance, general care and well being, privacy, comfort, and independence, she has the right to be cared by her husband in accordance to her style of life [to the best of his ability of course]

    He should recognize that the wife’s material rights are not her only securities. She has rights of moral nature.

    A husband is commanded to treat his wife with equity, to respect her feelings, and to show kindness and consideration.

    If he has no love or sympathy for her. She has the right to demand freedom from the marital bond, and no one may stand in her way.

    “Live with your wives in a good manner. If you dislike them in any manner,

    it may be that you dislike something in which Allah

    has placed much good for you.”

    Surah 4 – Ayah 19

  16. maybe he will benefit from it insha’Allah…teh sooner the better plus, hopefully, insha’Allah, Allah (s.w.t.) rewards us from this simple task of delivering this piece of advice and source of authentic information to your newlywed akhee.

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