Random Thoughts

1) Since the war in Iraq began in 2002, almost 1,000,000 Iraqis have been killed. The majority of them being children. I wonder who is next on the list of those to be killed, perhaps maybe even you and I.

2) I think my neighbor is a drama-Queen. She’s a short, elderly lady who sits outside her apartment and awaits to be entertained by other people’s problems. I catch her on many night when I arrive home late. I greet her and then ask, “so how is your night?” and she responds in a disappointed tone, “It’s been boring around here. Can you believe it, nothing has happened..”. I walk away thinking, “mann, this lady is a drama queen”.

3) If I enter the Fire, its probably not going to be for the crimes I’ve commited against myself but for the wrong I’ve done to others. I can imagine on the Day of judgment when all of mankind will be pointing the finger at one another, how many people would be looking for me? Many, I assume. Even with all the complaints against me, I will not stand there with an innocent look to my face, instead…I’m going to raise my hand really high and say, “Yes, Ya Rabb…he is correct”. Therefore, I forgive everyone for all the wrong they’ve done to me. In fact, there is NOTHING that mankind can do to me that will make up for all the wrong that I’ve caused to them. So on the Day of Judgment when the people stand to complain about how I’ve done this and that to them, I wont return the complaints against them. I will not because I have freed them from my blame, therefore if I enter the Fire, let the books of history show, I use to wrong the people and I was worthy of such a punishment.

4) Right now, I see some poetic words popping up in my mind. Do you think maybe that’s a sign that I should write some more poetry? Maybe I’m on to something…just maybe.

5) I hate tuna, dont you? Just the thought alone of eating it causes me to wanna….

6) I think if you collected all the good qualities and sincere deeds from myself, Talha, Mohamed Kay and Abdi, it could resemble the deeds of a young Bedouin boy from the time of Muhammad, the Messenger of Allah (saw). But than again, I still think he’s better than us in status and deeds.

7) I have this weird ability to determine when a woman is on her menses. Some say it’s just a lucky guess and maybe it is…but I’ve been very lucky recently.

8) What happens if you mix blue and purple, do you get orange?

9) Something tells me, I’m going to end up with a woman who fights like a boxer is her sleep. The first few nights, I’ll probably wake up with two black eyes and a soar throat which would cause my co-workers to think I’ve been a victim to domestic violence. My boss would probably call me into his office to inquire about my situation at home and I would most likely say, “I know what you’re thinking but I assure you, I’m not having domestic problems at home. It’s just, I’ve married a woman who falls asleep quickly only to enter into her fight mode. Sir, she has a mean left hook.”

10) I want to sponsor an orphan and I want to do it now.

11)  I can’t believe some couples talk about their marriage problems so openly. I over heard a woman complaining that she married a man who has “mashAllah” knowledge but what surprises her the most is, how this same man commits one major sin after another. Hello sister! maybe you agreed to marry him without doing the “background eman check” first? The least the sister should of done is goggle him right? Maybe she would have found some information to indicate that he is a sinner. Or maybe she should called the RCMP and received a criminal check.

12) Throughout history, the Jews living under the Islamic governments found safe haven. They were treated as citizens of the state and were even given the same rights as the Muslims. They were not oppressed. However, now with the creation of Israel they suddenly forgot all about the good treatment they received from the Muslims. The poor Palestinian people have been suffering for over 50 years. The saddest part about the whole situation is how the majority of the young brothers and sisters living in the West care more about graduating from University of Toronto or York than they do about their brothers and sisters suffering in Palestine. Hey PEOPLE! Reality check and sorry to come off rude but get over yourselves! Dont y’all realize we got bigger issues facing us as an Ummah and you should worry less about getting an “A” on your economics exam and more about the situation of the believers. I’m sorry to tell you but Allah wont even ask you about your university classes so less, “hey, you wanna an all-nighter studying for our exam on Blah Blah” and more, “we need to figure out a way to help the Muslims in our communities and around the world”.  

13) I don’t know why I feel the need to have two cell phones with two different lines. Maybe I’m…..

14) The thought alone of losing my father at this stage in my life hurts me beyond words. If I was to lose him right now…I would be overtaken by all the pains suffered from the beginning of time until the Last Day. “Ya Allah, you know my state and you know he is my love…please spare me such pain”

15) Oh yeah…I remember there was this brother who would limit his dawah to “only” attractive women. We asked him, “Yo, why you doin that..?” He said, “I’m gonna get the best of both worlds. I’m gonna invite a fine woman to accept Islam and when she does, I’m gonna be right there to marry her”. Some of us laughed at his response. One day, he gave dawah to a Japanese woman and after a few days, she accepted Islam. Shortly afterwards, they got married. He returned to us and said, “So, how come y’all aint laughing no more?”. So one of my homeboys who was present said, “You know what. I’m gonna start giving dawah to Hali Berry look a likes. If she accepts Islam, I’m gonna marry her.” We were about to laugh at his comment when we recalled what had happened previously. Instead, we said, “look, we want laugh but we’re embarrassed about what happened last time. So do your thang but don’t have too much fun, U heard!”.

16) There was this brother from the masjid who had been married for less than two years. We became friends alhamdulilah and one Saturday after maghrib salah, he came up to me and asked whether I had decided if I was going to sleep over at the masjid for the night. I was like, “Is there a program happening tonight?”. He said, “I don’t think so..” so I was confused by his question. When we sat down, he confessed to me that he was no longer attracted to his wife. He told me, he doesn’t hate his wife or anything but it’s just that, he can not stand to look at her. Wow, that news caught me off guard that I had to fight myself so hard in preventing my jaw from dropping. He continued freeing himself from the burden that was on his chest and said, “I don’t want to divorce her cause I have a child with her. I promised her I would not leave her and I would not make her a co-wife. But I’m a man and I have desires. I can not imagine myself fulfilling those desires with her.” Damn, I feel for the brother (and the sister).

17) When my daughter turns 18, inshAllah I’m going to make it so easy for her to get married. No fatherly high standards from my side, just love and protection for her.

18) I love spending a winter storm in my bed. I love looking outside and thinking, “alhamdulilah” while play fighting with my blanket to see who will wear down and how fast. Over the years, my blanket is winning the game by a margin of 14 to 0. I think it’s time to change my strategy and better prepare myself during the summer months in order for me to full out my first victory.

19) I think I’m gonna be a excellent father and perhaps a C- husband.

20) The first day I get married, I know what I’m going to do. I’m gonna call a family meeting. My wife is going to take a seat at the dinning room table and I’m going to hand her a blank piece of paper with a line down the middle. On one side of the paper, it’s going to say, “I want you to…” and on the other half, it’s going to say, “I would rather you don’t do…”. Then I’m going to ask her to fill both sides of the paper. She’s probably going to look at me and say, “but I need like, at least..three more pages..” so I’m gonna hand her the pages she requested and give her some time. When she’s done, I’m going to ask her to read her list. When she’s done that…she’s probably gonna ask, so where is your list? “Check your email”, I would reply. A few hours later, she would return to me and say, “your list has 674 more points than mine” and I would reply back by saying, “Really? And I was actually trying to be really nice when I was making that list..”   


21 Responses

  1. uhh, i don’t know what your issue is with tuna
    just cook it with some onions, tomatoes and corn and it’ll be great.lol.

    subhanallah, its such a beautiful thing that you have such a close relationship with your father. May Allah preserve him for you.

    I believe du’a is such a powerful weapon for helping the Muslims suffering in different parts of the world. May Allah ease their sufferings and give them patience in the face of their trials. cause you know, if Allah tests you that much in this world, and you pass, glad tidings bi’idnillah. note: this reminds me of zain bhikha’s nasheed ‘Have you heard’ – a real motivator.

    why are you setting yourself up to be a C- husband..terrible attitude buddy!

    oh, and your last point was a little too random for me.lol.

  2. السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته

    Akhee…seems like were getting our information from what’s happening across the world from the same reliable and authentic source. Keep it up. These situations need to be aired even though Allah (s.w.t.) is teaching them TOLEANCE, which is what is needed by a lot of muslims…and as for your list, I guess that is another thing we have in common, it’s just a thought unless every one now’s their role and where to get their duties from. <–(Quran & Sunnah).

  3. “1) Since the war in Iraq began in 2002, almost 1,000,000 Iraqis have been killed. The majority of them being children. I wonder who is next on the list of those to be killed, perhaps maybe even you and I.”

    …that’s just in Iraq alone…imagine all the other Muslim countries…there is a verse somewhere in this blog, where someone posted a verse from the Quran where Allah (s.w.t.) mentions how they try to distinguish the light and what not.

  4. …and as for your thinking of being blamed on the day of reseruction and thinking you might be headed for the fire (audobilalh)…i’m only assuming that you might just be like me and your not able to recognize your good deeds..wallahu alim

  5. Ameen, I really think you should get back on the forums and tell them what you think. Believe me I’m just as frustrated as you are, but I realize now that things will never change unless we voice our opinions and let them know what we think is wrong. Bluntly. It might just work.

    But if it doesn’t, qadrAllah. At least they heard two voices and not one, right?

    And to comment on your post… I have to say I’m impressed, you’re almost as random as I am 😉 I might just have to pass on my title soon…

  6. dude, #7 just threw me off sharing something like that in public? I do not know if that is normal or if such modesty is disappearing nowadays. I can’t imagin u going up to female genders asking if u nailed a lucky guess.

    To be an excellent father, you would need to be as good as a husband. Aim high so at least when u fall you wont fall as low

    i was wondering if you daydream about all these different scenarios happening with ur future wife. its as if u script it out…lol
    my advice to u is if u want a happy marriage have no expectations just like me.

  7. AkheeAB, It seems like you and I are very similar minded. May Allah have mercy on you. Have we met in the past? It would be interesting to know.

    Safia, I was frustrated over the forums but its not like me to dwell over such feelings for long periods of time. I learned over the years if you do such things, the only person who will actaully suffer would be yourself and no point in causing yourself pain right? Right. I just moved on with life. There is a bigger and more interesting life outside the forums.

    Unknown, I grew up with many women and Ive always paid great attention to minor detail. I hope I didnt come off unmodest and no I dont feel the need to go up to random women and ask such a questions. Allah forbid. I just believe its a part of life and we all have sisters, mothers, wives and maybe even one day, daughters so therefore by just stating a random thought regarding the topic, it will hopefuly encourage the men who read my blog to educate themselves on this topic and many more that are not popular amongst the men and Allah knows best.

    Do I daydream about scenarios between myself and my future wife? I probably dont. I just hear alot of different people complaining about marriage situations therefore I put myself into their shoes and try to prepare myself. I think for the long run and not just dealing with the events of today.

    Unlike you, I actually have very high expectations of marriage. My expectation is, our journey will start in this world and it will end in Jannah. We can not afford to fail or else we will suffer and therfore marriage is not something that a person should enter with low expectations and Allah knows best.

  8. السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته

    Akhee…the answer to your question or comment is “YES’…as for your participation in such forums where you may have disagreements, not to get into your personal situations even though it’s now public, it’s just best not to even announce it. What I would do in a situation like that is just, “take the good with the bad”. And as for having know expectations for marriag, I personally think that would be illogical because: The Prophet (SAW) said:
    “Shall I tell you the most precious thing a man can have? It is a righteous wife: when he looks at her he is pleased, when he tells her to do something she obeys, and when he is away she is faithful and loyal to him” [al-Hakim, who said it is sahih according to the conditions of al-Bukhari and Muslim]
    The above should be atleast one expecation that every man should have. I will follow with,


    * Brings happiness to her husband

    * Brings tranquility to her husband

    *Brings stability to her husband

    *Brings peace, comfort, and pleasure to her husband

    *She makes a cheerful , pleasant , and secure home

    *She must be faithful, trustworthy, and honest

    *She wants to raise successful, courageous, intelligent children

    *She may neither offend him nor hurt his feelings.

    The Importance of a good wife to her husband (and of course vice versa) is Great to Allah (SWT). Nothing can illustrate the point better than the Qur’anic statement which describes the righteous people as those who pray:

    “Rabba-na hab la-na min azwaji-na wa dhuriyyati-na qurrata a’yunin wa aj’al-na li al muttaqin imama”

    “Our Lord! Grant unto us wives and offspring who will be the joy and the comfort of our eyes, and guide us to be models of righteousness” (Qur’an 25:74)

    Obligations of the wife: Husband’s rights

    The main obligations of a wife is to contribute to the success and happiness of the marriage.

    She needs to care about the comfort and well being of her husband

    She does not deceive her husband purposly

    She does not accept gifts without his approval; this is to avoid jealousy, suspicion, gossip, etc

    The husbands possessions are her trust

    She makes herself desirable and attractive to her husband

    She should not deny herself to her husband, for the Qur’an speaks of them as comfort to eachother.

    Let me know if the above are high or above expecations, beacuse having no expecations to me is like looking for someone and walking into an empty room. (Just my opinions) Sorry for the log blog.

  9. I think everyone has things they expect to find in their spouse whether they acknowledge it or not, but I don’t think it’s healthy to have concrete demands set in stone for your husband/wife. It can be controlling, and in some cases, abusive. At the same time, it would be difficult to have expectations of marriage itself, since it varies so much from couple to couple. It seems like something you have to experience to really know what it’s going to be like.

    That said, I think it makes more sense to make a list of what you have to offer to the marriage, rather than focus on the other person. It takes two.

  10. Akhee, I really liked your post mashAllah. Full of knowledge and I guess since we’ve met in the past, we’ll bumb into each other in the near future inshAllah. Perhaps maybe even at Route 114? Although I haven’t registered and maybe its even sold out? I hope not.

    Safia, I just wanted to say mashAllah, you spoke the truth in your post yesterday on the “Old AlMaghribers Energizing Station – H.A.W.K.S?” thread. Sometimes its not the easiest thing to speak the truth. And you and I aren’t the only people feeling frustrated. Br. Maalik stated a good point about lack of intellectual discussions and Br. Bruce also supported that same point. Brother Siraaj stated that lack of instuctor participation and forum lock-down is causing people to be turned off. I think alot of people are expressing themselves and stating their opinions now we just got to hope and wait to see if their words and opinions will led to change.

    And Allah knows best.

    But please…no more talks about the “forums”. We got bigger issues to discuss and problems to solve other than “one forum amongst many forums”.

  11. السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته

    The daughter of Abu Bakur (r.a.) came to him one day and said to her father that her husband (one of the men who wre guaranteed Jannah) is very violent and absusive towards her and that she needs to take this case to court to see what she should do about this situation that she is in.
    The 1st Khalipha, the Messanger’s 3rd best friend right After Allah (s.w.t.), the Companion who was guaranteed Jannah himself told his own daughter to be patient and go back to him as he is on our list of the people of paradise so he can elevate your status on teh day of judgment because we are only here working for Akhira.
    In other words, the above ‘commands’ are not going to be controlling, nor are they commanding. If a ‘Mu’min’ is already copying and living up to the examples of the ones who are guaranteed Jannah and living like them already day by day, awaiting for his day then he has the right to be expecting such standards and expectations of a ‘Muslimah’ because that needs to be met so their task in dunya can be completed in order for them to reach the highest level of paradise because they both had the highest level of certification in this world. These words are through a veil, so the one that is writting this cannot be seen therfore we don’t now him.
    His favourite words are: “If I was to be shown Jannah today, I would not be working any harder than i am already working for it and if i was to be shown Jahannam today…(vice versa, you now the rest)

  12. Of course it’s not going to seem controlling or commanding when you compare it to physical abuse, since laying a hand on a woman is its most extreme form, and everything else pales in comparison.

    I’m not familiar with the story you shared, but I think it’s clear that Abu Bakr (ra) was not condoning domestic abuse, he only felt that her sabr in the situation would elevate her status in akhira. Rasulullah (saw) prohibited that sort of violence, and it is in his sunnah to not harm his wives. There is also the hadith where he advises Fatima bint Qais not to marry Abu Jahm, because he was known to beat his women. So I would hope that a ‘Mu’min’ who is sincerely working for the akhira is aiming to emulate the character and example of our Prophet (saw).

    The point I was trying to make was that I’m just not a fan of drawing up lists of what one *must* have in a wife, and I say this as a female. Because you’re creating a mold of what a woman should be without regard or consideration of what she actually is. And this is within the context of marriage, so it takes more than just having an “ideal Muslim wife”, it takes the contribution of both people in the relationship. It’s just something I’ve noticed with a lot of brothers, they seem to put the emphasis on the sisters, and then complain later that sisters make it too difficult to get married.

    Akhee, although I may be disagreeing with you, I don’t mean to be rude in any way. It was not my intention to come off that way. Allahu ‘alam.

  13. Akhi can you send me your email on this address
    ashab76@yahoo.com I need to write to you something very important.
    Jazakallahu khayran

  14. السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته

    My best advise to you would be study Islam some more, find out what role you have in Islam and if you are looking for a spouse in the near future, and this goes for all of us, look for one who know’s there role as a servan of Allah (s.w.t.) and their role to each mankind that they come across. Know, your not being rude, just differenc of opinion, and you are correct, Abu Bakar (r.a.) was sending the message of ‘sabr’ to his daughter. I was just using it as an analogy. This list that one may have for a potential spuse, may not be written, it could be store in the human brain. A person’s actions/words put together on a bowl of plate are their characteristics and if there words/actions don’t match the bowl that I am looking for then I have to move on in the menu to another dish because that one may not satisfy my tast buds, unless their might be something else about that meal that may insprie me to have tawakul in Allah (s.w.t.) and help build that person plate to better (more delicous flavours) which would mean this person is ready, willing and capable of adding spice to their character.

    These are not concret demands, these are characters in a person, (the more toppings the better) if these characters are not in a person, know one will control this person to have them nor will they abused they would have to be encourage to work on their character or if they don’t have them then that will be their time or dawa for them to inherit these traits.

    At the end of the day, everyone does have a list, whether it may be for a vaction or for starting a business etc. A female and a male should know what kind of character they should be and have so they would not their position, as a father, or son, or brother, etc. There is a islamic role and position for eveything that we do.

    “Because you’re creating a mold of what a woman should be without regard or consideration of what she actually is”

    if someone was to put their characterstic behaviour and words in a plate…that would be who they are…i was not creating a mold, i was identifying characteristics and unfortunatley most of the one’s who have these characteristcs are the ones who were raised in an islamic environment, culter, society and currently reside there. I stronlgy advise that you also refrain from posting picutres. The emphasis needs to be put on both brothers and sisters to know their role in Islam.


    *He meets his brother with a smiling face*
    The Prophet said: “Do not think little of any good deed even if it is just greeting your brother with a cheerful countenance [face] {MUSLIM}
    The Prophet said: “Your smiling at your brother is an act of charity {sadaqah}” {al-TIRMIDHI who said it is hasan gharib}
    The Muslim should always be pure of heart and should have a cheerful and friendly face. He should meet his brother with warmth and smiles. There’s no excuse–Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) always had a warm smile on his face even though he went through hardships, torture, and suffering in this life.

    * He Restrains from anger and is forgiving*
    “… [those] who restrain anger and pardon {all} men- for Allah loves those who do good.”
    [Translation of the Qu’ran-Al-Imran 3:134]
    The true Muslim restrains his anger and is forgiving. He does not see any shame in doing so, rather he sees it as a good deed which will bring him closer to Allah (SWT).
    *He has a good attitude towards others and treats them well*
    Anas (RA) said : “I served the Messenger of Allah (Saws) for ten years, and he never said to me ‘UFF!’. If I did something, he never said, “Why did you do that?” And if I did not do something, he never said , “Why did you not do such-and-such? [Agreed Upon]
    The Prophet said: “Among the best of you are those who have the best attitude (towards others)”. [Agreed upon]
    He (SAWS) also said: “Nothing will weigh more heavily in the balance of the believing servant on the Day of Resurrection than a good attitude (towards others). Verily Allah hates those who utter vile words and obscene speech.” [al-Tirmidhi, hasan sahih hadith]
    The true Muslim has a good attitude. He is humble and soft and gentle in his speech. He does not use bad language or insult others. He is patient, gentle, forgiving, tolerant, cheerful, and sincere towards others.
    *He avoids cursing and foul language*
    The Prophet (SAWS) said: “The believer is not a person who hurts others with words, or curses, or swears, or is foul-mouthed.” [Al-Bukhari]
    Anas (RA) said: “The Prophet (SAWS) never used foul language or cursed, or swore. When he wanted to rebuke someone, he would say , ‘What is wrong with him? May his forehead be covered with dust!” [Al-Bukhari]
    Note: May his forehead be covered with dust means ‘may he perform many sujud [prostrations in prayer]
    The True Muslim’s toungue will refrain from uttering curses or foul language. He does not swear, curse, or use bad language; he also does not bear to hear such words.

    *He has shyness [hayaa]
    Abu Sa’id al Khudri said: “The Messenger of allah was more shy than the virgin hiding away in her own room. If he saw something that he disliked, we would know it only from his facial expression. [Agreed upon]
    The prophet (SAWS) said: “Shyness brings nothing but good” [Agreed upon]
    A true Muslim is shy, polite, gentle, and sensitive to the feelings of others He never does any bad deed that may harm others. The attitude of shyness protects him from many errors, not only because he feels shy in front of people, but because he also feels shy before Allah (SWT).
    *He has a sense of humour ”
    The Sahabah said to the Prophet (SAWS) : “You are joking with us.” The Prophet said: “But I never say anything but the truth”. [Al-Bukhari]
    The Muslim has a sense of humour, as the prophet (SAWS) did. This makes people like him. He jokes around with hem when it is appropriate, without going to extremes. Similarly, when he is serious, he does not go to extremes of harshness and strictness.
    *Avoids Arguing , making hurtful jokes, and breaking promises*
    The Prophet (SAW) said: “Do not argue with your brother, do not joke excessively with him, do not make a promise to him then break it” [BUKHARI]
    Among the good manners of a true Muslim are: he does not exhaust his brothers and friends with arguments, he does not annoy them with hurtful jokes, and he does not break a promise that he has made to them.
    *He is compassionate and Merciful*
    The Prophet (SAWS) said: “Compassion is not taken away except from the one who is doomed.” [Bukhari]
    He also has been reported to have said: “Have compassion on those who are on earth so that the One Who is in heaven will have mercy on you.” [Tabarani; its men are rijal al-sahih]
    The true muslim is compassionate and merciful. He knows that the compassion of people on earth will cause the mercy of heaven to be showered on him.
    *He keeps promises*
    “O you who believer! Fulfill (all) obligations”
    [Al-Ma’idah 5:1]
    “O you who believe! Why say you that which you do not? Grievously odious is it in the sight of Allah that you say that which you do not.”
    [Al-Saff 61-2-3]
    The true Muslim keeps his promises faithfully. Breaking promises is one of the ‘odious’ or horrible sins that Allah (SWT) hates in his believing servants.
    *He is truthful*
    The Prophet (SAWS) said: “Truthfulness leads to piety [birr[, and piety leads to Paradise. A man continues to speak the truth until he is recorded in the sight of Allah as a sincere lover of truth [siddiq]. Falsehood leads to iniquity and iniquity leads to Hell. A man will continue to speak falsehood until he is recorded in the sight of Allah as a liar.”
    “The Hypocrites will be in the lowest depths of the Fire: no helper will you find for them.”
    [Qur’an 4:145]
    A true Muslim should be truthful with all people. He sincerely loves truth and strives to be true in word and deed.
    *He is sincere*
    The Prophet said: “Religion is sincerity.” We asked, “To whom?” He said, “To Allah; to His Book; to His Prophet; to the rulers of the Muslims; and to their common folk” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
    The Prophet also said: “None of you truly believes until he likes for his brother what he likes for himself [Agreed upon].
    The Prophet said: “The believer is the mirror of his brother. If he sees any fault in him he corrects it” [Bukhari]
    A true Muslim should be sincere towards Allah; obeying him, and to the Prophet , respecting him and following him, he should be sincere to his brothers and not cheat them or mislead them.
    *He spreads the greeting of salaam [peace]*
    “A man asked the Prophet (SAWS), ‘Which type of Islam is the best?’ He said, ‘To feed people, and to say salaam to those you know and those you do not know” [Agreed upon]
    “The Messenger of Allah (SAWS) commanded us to do seven things: to visit the sick, to attend funerals, to bless someone when he sneezes, to support the weak, to help the one who is oppressed, to spread salaam, and to help people fulfill their oaths.” [Agreed upon]
    This is an distinctive aspect of the Muslim’s social conduct. Salaam has effects in spreading brotherly love and is a means of uniting.
    *He is Patient*
    “And Allah loves the patient.”
    (Qur’an 3:146)
    The true Muslim is patient and not in the habit of complaining much. He is patient in this life; he is patient with the non-believers; he is patient with his friends; he is patient with his children; he is patient with his parents–for he knows that the next life is much better than this one.
    *He Prays for his brothers in their absence*
    “The quickest prayer to be answered is a man’s supplication for his brother in his absence.”
    A sincere Muslim who truly likes his brother that which he likes for himself doesn’t forget to pray for his brother in his absence.
    *He is Gentle, Kind and Faithful*
    Allah (swt) describes the believers as being “…lowly [or humble] with the believers, mighty against the kafirun…” {AL-QURAN, Al-Ma’idah 5:54}
    The Prophet said: ” A man should help his brother whether he is a wrong-doer or is wronged. If he is a wrongdoer then he should stop him, and if he is wronged, then he should defend him” [MUSLIM]
    The Prophet said: “There is no kindness in a thing but it adds beauty to it, and there is no absence of kindness but it disfigures a thing” {MUSLIM}
    The prophet (Saws) said: “Verily Allah is kind and loes kindness in all affairs [Agreed upon]
    The Prophet (SAWS) said: “Make things easy, not difficult, and be cheerful, not threatening.” [Agreed upon]
    The true Muslim is kind to his brothers and is good-natured and easy going and helpful towards them. He should be gentle, faithful, and modest with them. He is gentle and kind towards people.
    *Act Justly Between People*
    “Be just, that is nearer to piety; and fear Allah.”
    (Qur’an 5:8)
    This is a characteristic of one who has TAQWAH {an all-encompassing, inner consciousness of one’s duty towards god and the awareness of one’s accountability toward Him}. He does not allow his personal feelings to hamper justice.

    * He Loves his brother for the sake of Allah (swt)*

    *He does not gossip*
    Allah (swt) says in the Holy Qur’an: “…Nor speak ill of each other behind their backs. Would any of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? Nay, you would abhor it. But fear Allah: for Allah is Oft-Returning, Most Merciful.” ( Al-Hujurat 49:12)
    A Muslim does not talk behind his brother’s back. He does not say anything that his brother would not like. A Muslim is straightforward and is not two-faced.
    * Iman : Faith in Allah (swt)*
    { It is not fitting for a believer , man or woman, when a matter has been decided by Allah and His messenger to have any option about their decision: if anyone disobeys Allah and His messenger he is indeed on a clearly wrong path. (Al-Ahzab, 33:36}
    At the core of islamic moral character is iman; iman implies belief in the oneness of allah (tawhid) and the prophethood of muhammad (saw)…… He will bow his ego, his ideas, his passions, and his thinking before allah (swt). He will obey allah (swt) and his prophet without hesitation.

  16. Assalam alaikum

    I just wanted to say that difference of opinion is not always a bad thing. Abu Bakr and Umar, always seemed to have different opinions regarding different issues. There would be no point in having shoura if everyone shared the same opinion and the purpose of having shoura is to weight the options and make the best decision and Allah knows best.

    I can understand the point Safia is trying to make and Br. Ahkee, you’re supporting your opinions with alot of text.

  17. Walaykum Salam
    There is such a thing as the inclination to follow one of the opinions of the fuqaha’, not on the basis of Tarjeeh (weighing and comparing evidence) but because of a desire to follow the easiest way or because it suits one’s own desires. A person may find some justification for motives that he thinks are correct, and does not realize they are wrong until later on. Therefore one should only select or give preference to an opinion either by studying the matter and examining the evidence and proofs offered by all sides, which should be done by one who has sound knowledge, or else by following a scholar who is well known to be knowledgeable, religious, pious and righteous, so that one feels confident of his sincerity and wide knowledge. The motive for doing this is far removed from mere differences of fiqhi opinion. It is an excuse for westernization that will soon go beyond the disputed issue to affect matters which are indisputably haraam.

  18. I know you mean well, but please don’t assume how much (or how little) I know about the deen. And I find it condescending that you felt the need to paste a list of a mu’min’s traits for me. I think I’ll just drop this argument.

  19. Taking pictures of animate beings such as humans, birds and animals, and putting them in forums or keeping them for memory’s sake, is not permissible, because of the general meaning of the evidence that image-making is haraam, and the fact that the one who does that is cursed.

    The prohibition on picture making also applies to drawing cartoons or distorted images of animate beings, because of the report narrated by Muslim (2107) from ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) who said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) came from a journey, and I had hung over my door a curtain on which there were images of winged horses, and he told me to take it down.

    It says in Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah (1/479): What makes images forbidden is the fact that they are images of animate beings, whether they are sculptures, or drawings on walls or fabric or paper, or they are woven, and whether they are done with a quill, a pen, or a machine, and whether they represent something real or something imaginary, whether they are small or large, beautified or distorted, or drawn in the form of lines representing a skeleton. What makes them forbidden is that fact that they depict animate beings, even if they are imaginary like pictures of ancient people, Pharaohs, or leaders and soldiers of the Crusades, or like the pictures of ‘Eesa (Jesus) and Maryam (Mary) that are kept in churches, etc., because of the general meaning of the texts, and because that is competing with the creation of Allaah, and because it is a means that leads to shirk. End quote.

    Putting pictures of women in forums is a reprehensible action, because it is using haraam images and because it may cause temptation and provoke desires. You have done well to erase all the images, because denouncing and removing evil is a duty upon everyone who is able to do that.

    Every Muslim has to fear Allaah and realize that he will be asked on the Day of Resurrection about everything that he writes and publishes. He should not take any haraam matter lightly; a huge fire can start from a little spark.
    We ask Allaah to help us all to do that which He loves and which pleases Him.

  20. السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته
    The above Mu’min traits that are mentioned above are for all of us, which was my intention. Eeman goes up down, which is something that we have to work by staying steadfast until the day we meet our lord. The reason why I am suppporting with what I have with a lot of text is so that we may all benefit from this. I did not want to leave anything behind. This is a simply and easy way for all of us to get extra rewards for leaving beneficial information behind. “The more, the better”…if it’s very beneficial, espeically if it’s from the words of Allah (s.w.t.) or of the Prophet (p.b.u.h.) then why not leave it behind instead of irrelevant issues, matters or discussions that are not pleasing to Allah (s.w.t.).

  21. Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) wrote some useful words about priorities with regard to acts of worship, and we will quote some of it. For example he said:

    “… The same applies to the person’s state of mind. When he is in the state of mind that helps him to achieve the purpose for which he was created, then that state of mind is much nobler than any other. And the same applies to actions. Any action which helps him to get closer to the purpose for which he was created is better than any other. Hence prayer and J are among the best of deeds because they bring one closer to that aim, and this is how it should be, because the closer a thing is to the goal the better it is than that which is far away from it. The action which prepares the heart and mind to know Allaah and His names and attributes, and to love Him, fear Him and put one’s hopes in Him is better than that which is not like that. If a number of deeds have this quality in common, then the best of them is that which brings one closest to this goal. Hence acts of worship have this goal in common, so they are required for the sake of Allaah and sins have in common the fact that they block the heart and prevent it from reaching this goal, so they are forbidden. The effect of acts of worship and sins depends on their degree. This is something to which attention must be paid, which is that a particular deed may be better for one person than another.

    How many of us can say what are priorities are to Allah (s.w.t.) and have way fulfilled most of them and what and where are we spending most of our time. How many of us can say, we have memorized the Qur’an, the Hadith of Rasullulah (SAW), or atleast even have basic knowledge of Aqeedah. The above mentioned by Ibn al-Qayyim is how to impress Allah (s.w.t.).

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