Archive for March, 2008

The Fever of Marriage finally GONE!
March 26, 2008

Have you noticed that recently there hasnt been much talk about marriage? 

I haven’t heard many brothers complaining about “oh, its so so hard to find a decent sister these days..” or the best line of them all, “Yo..I’m saying though…I look in the mirror everyday and I see a good MashAllah brother so how come these sisters cant see the same thing..?” (makes me laugh every time). In fact, I haven’t heard much about marriage at all. So the question that comes to mind is, have we survived the fever? Was marriage just a cloud floating over our heads while we waited patiently as to how much rain would pour down from its foundation?

Well..personally, I guess since Im not married, I most of some how survived the storm of marriage. Many of my boys got married and some are happy while others are going through the growing pains (which is normal) but myself, well…I’m just doing me. Counting the stars, going where I go, doing what I do (whatever that means). 

Its like, I take so many trips from Toronto to Ottawa and I think the main purpose of such trips is to change my environment for a bit. I notice in Toronto, I hear (or use to hear) brothers talking about “getting hitched”, however in Ottawa, its a different story. Or to be fair, not as much talk about “entering that stage of life”. Maybe its just my Ottawa crowd or maybe its their level of patience when it comes to that issue. It seems like in Toronto, many of the sisters want to get married and are making that known but that’s not really the feeling I get when I take my countless trips to the Nations Capital. However, for the record, I’m sure there are plenty of women in Ottawa that wanna get married but understandably, I wouldn’t really know that. 

The most amazing growing pain I’ve had with the issue of marriage is my experience. I’ve gone through the different stages from meeting a sister (the proper way) to taking the issue to the highest court within the family fold. I’ve experienced it all and after all of that, I’ve watched myself grow from a boy who didn’t know much to a man who is confident and grateful for his situation. Alhamdulilah, I’m alive and I believe in Allah. What else can I ask for?    

Foolishly, the other night, I recalled an ayaat from Surah Ibrahim in where Allah declares that if we were to make the efforts to thank Him for all His blessings, never would we be able to do that…and there I sat at my work place ignorantly, trying to thank Allah for everything I could remember. But my memory served little benefit when it came down to recalling all the kindness and mercy my Lord has showered upon me. Instead, I grew in shame and I wisphered in a low voice to myself, “my lord, forgive me for my lack of gratitude”. Indeed, I am ashamed and I seek His forgiveness.

Just today, I revisited the Almaghrib forums for the first time in several months and I came across a thread in which a sister titled “10 reasons NOT to get married” (what a catchy title if you ask me 🙂 ). Needless to say, it was an interesting thread. The first point she made was “Single means you can eat, sleep, study, work, go out to the park when ever you want” and I reflected on this one point for a while. So I pictured myself, single, having the freedom to eat, sleep, study and visit the part as I wish.

I mean just think about it. If I was single, then I don’t think I would have any problems in accomplishing those things but what about, if my situation was different…I mean, lets change my status from being “single” to “married”, how much would my lifestyle really change? If I was married, wouldn’t I be able to eat? Maybe? Perhaps? Or I would think the answer would be YES! I would definitely be eating homie. In fact, I would probably be exposed to different types of food. Maybe she would cook for me and that would be nice? *laughs at “maybe” lool*

Now the issue of sleep which is one that can be debated. I mean, sleeping in a bed by yourself is different than sharing a bed with someone. Which reminds me to remind all of those who are soon to get married, if you gonna buy a blanket or a comforter, buy a size that is BIG enough to hold four people because there is nothing worse than having to play tug and war with your newly ordained life partner. I’m serious. Buy it and avoid 18% of problems that started in the bedroom and grew to become one of great concern. Be proactive rather then reactive. Now seriously, the issue of sleep can be quite tricky because unlike being single, when you’re married, you actully have some duties that you might or might not be comfortable with. Such as, listening to your spouse. Their concerns, worries, reflections of certain situations and so on and so forth that occurred throughout their day. So maybe that 9 and half hour sleep that you were use to growing up, will get reduced to …lets say….6 hours or maybe if you lucky, 7. And Allah knows best. So to that sister who stated this issue, you have stated a thoughtful point so may Allah reward you.  

As for studying, lets never forget, two brains will always be better than one (some times its hard to believe but its true 🙂 ) Although one person will only be allowed to take the test, your spouse is there to help and be a source of support during those moments when studying seems like a punishment sent down from above the heavens. Studying would be a positive in my book if one was married rather than studying when you’re single.

Regarding the issue of work, maybe there is a slight concern. That’s a slim, maybe. Thinking about it,  if a brother was to work 12 hours a day for  like 6 days a week,  he would probably be spending way too much time away from home and perhaps that would translate to become an issue over an extending period of time. Likewise, if the woman was the one working such heavy hours, that would also be an issue…so what to do? Ummm…. I cant really say cause every situation is different and maybe some sisters wouldn’t care if homeboy pulled some heavy hours.

Next issue, going to the park HA! That one made me laugh (but in a good way). Since I dont really visit the park that much so I cant really say… 🙂 Although I would think, having company while chilling back on a bench starring into the fresh grass and the beautiful trees would be more pleasing to the soul than having to take that experience in while you stand all alone. At the end, I really don’t  know the difference between the two lifestyles rather than allowing my imagination to run wild with some issues.

So now that the fever of marriage is out of sight, I can finally run and grab my newly purchased Air Max and my basketball to shoot some hoops. I can stand at the top of the key and focus on making the shot rather than having to worry about a strong breeze over-powering me. This time around, I wont have to fear about catching the fever. 

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My Experience With Love
March 7, 2008

What is love?

Its seems for generations mankind has been involved in a heated debate in regards to the topic of love. Does love exist or better yet, can you tell me about love at first sight? Let me take it one step further and ask you about our period of existence. Do you believe that our generation values love any differently from those who came before us? These and many more are the questions that run through the mind of the freedom writer. However, unfortunately for him, the answers to such questions are unknown. So at the moment, I stand strong and despite the words of the liars that exist in my time of being, I declare after some deep thought, love does exist. Thats right, it does. For most of us, we will live life without it. For some, they will become exposed to it. While others will meet death while they harbour the feeling deep in their hearts. I’ve even known of individuals, mostly women, who have become ill due to the fact that the decree sent from above the heavens prevented their pour souls from being with their love. Nevertheless, let it be known many forms of love exist. We shouldn’t grow ignorant and restrict it to the opposite sex, although that is the most passionate form and also the most common. Believe it or not, I’ve experienced the so-called feeling of love and I’ve captured our battle in my Poetic Justice.

My Love:

My heart blinds me of the realities of tomorrow
I’m trapped between my thoughts of you and I feel no sorrow
Can a love like this grow even stronger

If you were attacked I would defend you with my honour
I will be your protector and He is my supporter

Fear is but a thought that has been transformed into a feeling
I grab it by the throat and jump head first into any commotion
I will remain committed to you and forever fulfill my devotion

Now time is of great essence so I worry about the events of tomorrow
Will we be kept apart forever, if not, than how much longer

If I had one wish in Junnah, I would ask for you
And if I could intercede, I would speak on your behalf
I invite you to good and you invite me to that which is better
So let’s hasten to do good together
Perhaps we will be granted mansions the size of the heavens and earth put together

Now history is but events that follow one another
My love could be compared to the love spoken of by the Great Scholar,
He spoke in great detail of this energetic feeling
His love was directed towards a lady, whereas my love is for my father
He felt pain and sorrow
But I feel like I’ve gained and I look forward to the events of tomorrow