Why Bomb Afghanistan?

Every story has a beginning and every idea generated from somewhere…

Through a friend, I was able to find the conversation (typed out for your reading pleassure) between the different levels of the American government, and moreover, how they came to the decision that Afghanistan was most worthy of getting bombed after the September 11 attacks on US soil.

It all started in a private room, away from the presence of any individual that may be known to leak such private conversations (although, if I’m about to provide it to you, it obviously found its way out of that “secret room” located on the third floor of the White House [<-so I was told] ).

It all started when President Bush asked to see the Director of the FBI shortly after the attacks while former Secretary of State, Colin Powell was standing to the side of the president.

Bush: Who are these terrorists?
FBI Chief: Saudis, at least they hold Saudi passports
Bush: What can we do about that?
Powell: Saudi Arabia can not be bombed, they supply us with oil
Bush:That terrorist Mohammad Atta, is an Egyptian, may be we can bomb Egypt
Powell: No Mr. President, Egypt is our ally, they made peace with Israel
Bush: But he was trained in Germany, those Germans hate us, don’t they?
Powell: Germany lost the war, they are no longer against the allies, besides they no longer like wars, and they are busy making Mercedes Benz, they need our market.
Bush:Where did Mohammed Atta learn flying planes?
FBI Chief: Florida, Sir
Bush:S—, I can’t bomb Florida, Brother Jeb Bush is there, he can get hurt
FBI Chief: We have reports that the Mafia may be behind this attack, Sir.
Bush: If we define all Pizza Parlors as legitimate strike targets, that would be unpopular with Italian Americans and Catholics, besides, Rudolph Giuliani is well liked for his heroism.
FBI Chief: We have a claim by the Japanese Red Brigade, Sir
Bush: Japan has surrendered to us in WWII, they are not in military confrontation with us anymore, and economically speaking, Japan and Germany are still a threat, d—.
FBI Chief: Mr. President, we also have reports of Anti Globalization suspects
Bush:These are good looking, clean-shaven white boys, no one will accept that they are terrorists.
Powel: How about blaming it on Iraq, Sir?
Bush: That is too boring, I want to do something original.
Powell:How about blaming it on the CIA, they trained Osama Bin Ladin.
Bush: My dad was their chief I can’t incriminate my own Dad, are you crazy?
Powell:My last guess would be the Mossad of Israel; you see Sharon is under fire and he needs to divert international scrutiny to Terrorism, he may have pulled this one to get off the hook while he finishes his domestic fall Home cleaning.
Bush: Blaming congress is far easier than blaming Sharon, any more ideas?
Powell: Then let the FBI and the CIA investigate this issue some more and when credible evidence emerges, let us handle it in the international courts of law like we did with the TWA Libyan hijackers case.
Bush: Remember next election is only three years away
Powel: So what should we do Mr. President?
Bush: I think we should strike somewhere very soon, I want to look like a hero during thanksgiving, so Americans can watch the censored evening news to enjoy their turkey and their tax money at work going after the bad boys.
Powell: How should we rationalize such a move Mr. President?
Bush: A War against terrorism
Powell: That is too broad Mr. President; we need a more accurate objective, Sir?
Bush: Destroying Bin Laden hideouts in Afghanistan, with high tech laser guided CNN camera carrying missiles.
Powell: The Russians lost 100,000 soldiers in Afghanistan Sir, in ten years.
Bush:Then let us form a Coalition of Nations against terrorism; we legitimize it as an international effort like my dad did it in the Gulf War, I am sure the British will follow us, they owe us one for the Falklands, later, we can drag Europeans along, we’ve liberated them in WWII after all, we can count on their support. In addition, we will persuade A-rabs and even I-ranians who hate Taliban Sunnis, you see this is the best strategy, and to make it decisive , we tell everybody, to choose either Freedom or Terrorism.
Powell: Fine with me Mr. President, if that is what you want,
Powell: Talking to himself (I am going to write a book about this, a practical objective indeed)


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