Reflecting on, Reflections of a Man!


In recent days, I was able to get my hands on a book called Reflections of a Man by Amari Soul which – full disclosure – I had seen it months back on twitter. At the time I remember thinking this wasn’t my type of book but since the turn of the calendar, since we entered 2017, many things within me needed to be evaluated and changed as I had realized for many years leading into ’17, I forgot what it felt like to be happy. So I challenged myself to make this year the year I would pursue to become the best version of myself – physically, emotionally and spiritually ! This year, not next – starting today, and not tomorrow.

Reflections of a Man was a challenge I had accepted, made time for and more so, I needed to be sincere in reading every word with an open mind in order to potentially gain prospective and benefit. As I started reading, the further I entered, the more I felt like I was standing in front of a mirror being asked to describe what I see. Of course, I started by describing my physical characteristics – 6’0, athletic and semi handsome person? But no, that was not the answer being sought from me. I kept reading and the more I read, the deeper I looked within myself until I got passed the physical stuff, the material stuff I’ve managed to collect and continue to collect until I could finally see within myself – emotionally. The author divided the men into two parties: the right guy and the wrong guy. In order to qualify to be or become the right guy, you have to ask yourself, are you ready? Are you? I ask you because in order to find her – the one we’re all looking for – the right guy must (as the author states) “find himself before looking for you“. So for all the fellas, do you still think you’re ready to be the right guy? Lets take it a step further and perhaps you’re married. Maybe when you got married – all those years ago – you hadn’t found yourself so the challenges of marriage life overwhelmed you but after reading this book, if you’re ready to become the right guy for her, you can still become that person. Let me share with you a one point that perhaps could be useful – perhaps you may already know this point but hear me out, with sincerity for verily anything that is approached with a sincere heart can not fail.

Spend some Time with Her

And before you tell me you spend a lot of time with her, I would say, don’t make the same mistake many before you have made in confusing sharing a space with her as spending time with her. Its not enough to be in the same room as her while you’re watching the news and she – after losing hope of ever finding your attention – resorts to engaging her phone on some social media site. The key is to spend quality time with her and that includes talking to her, listening to her and actively being a playful person with her. In other words, engage her on all the different platforms she needs, I learned. Participating in making her feel loved is what many of us men fail to understand or act upon. Instead we tend to focus on things we would like to change about her rather than accepting her for the person she is, has become. Do you remember when you got married to her? Do you remember the time leading up to it all you could focus on was her overwhelmingly positive traits that you would never ransom off? She’s still that person with all those beautiful traits and more but the change happened to you. You changed – over time – so unknowingly you want her to change too? When you spend time with her – quality time – pay attention to her and love her. Yes, love her, my brother. Just remember this, despite what all the fellas say about love, love is such a blessing from Allaah and unfortunately a feeling so great that many will live a lifetime and never experience it. So if you happen to find it – hold it and cherish it. Grow it. It is within our identity to love, that is what I discovered by looking into the mirror and seeing a different me. Read this book and you too could discover that part about yourself…

Until next time, Stay Blessed…




One Response

  1. #BeBlessed

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